Being Your Own Soulmate

Once upon a time, I never really bought the idea of having a soulmate for I found it to be 'a waste of time' looking for one. Like life had so many other priorities that I wasn't even thinking about this. Going through these difficult times have however made me feel the intense need of having someone a.k.a a soulmate by my side. I'm looking at it as a solution and oh well, that definitely ain't healthy. 

I know that I have to be my own soulmate. I have to be happy in my own skin, with the company of my own self. If I can't be happy with me, how am I supposed to expect someone who doesn't even know me to be happy by my side? It totally doesn't make sense, does it? In the end, those who you thought were your best friends, will just stop bothering about helping you through tough times as they would get tired of your actions. 

Being one's own soulmate isn't easy. The sad reality for me is that it's hard to be happy on my own. When I'm out on my own in a restaurant, I have the tendency to feel anxious all of a sudden, as if the whole world's looking at me and that just makes me so uncomfortable. Instead of just enjoying the company of myself, I end up worrying about unwanted things which are just happening in my own train of thoughts, not in reality.

At the end of the day, only Allah knows what I'm going through. Sometimes, it's just so hard to believe that He knows as He is being so silent. That's why they say, patience is virtue.

Farhanah Adam.